Replacing Resolutions With Resolve, Part 4
Last week’s article focused on listing the various resources that can help you throughout your journey toward change. The comments made on the article showed that people use a variety of tools, inanimate and animate, to keep themselves on track. The tools mentioned by commenters were a prioritized To Do list, a website, a friend and a coach. Let’s review the seven steps for making the change you seek a reality. They are:
2. Identify your motivators as well as stuff that sucks the wind out of your sails
3. Make your list of available resources
4. Create your support network
5. Design your reward system to celebrate accomplishments
6. Write down your action steps and start
7. Evaluate your progress and return to Step 1
This week, we’re looking at Step 4, creating your support network. Do you have people in your life that you consider your “Go To” people when you need help or assistance? Are these people that you are related to? Are they friends that you’ve acquired along the way? Are they members of a community with a common interest? Are they co-workers? Neighbors? Professionals you’ve hired? Who are the people that support you and your efforts, offer sage advice, talk you down from a “ledge” when you get stressed, recognize your accomplishments, are genuinely happy for you when things are going well and always encourage you when you feel daunted?
A support network is comprised of people who may, or may not, be directly linked to each other, who provide encouragement, bolster you when you are down, cheer for you when you achieve and remind you that you are not alone. They believe you can succeed and they tell you so. They are there for you when you fall and encourage you to get back up. They champion you when you are down on yourself and help you combat negative self-talk. Essentially, these people are in your corner and the proof of this fact is in their actions.
If the people you’ve placed in your support network are clearly not in your corner, then it is time to make some adjustments. If your network includes people you believe “should” be there because of your relationship, history, or familiarity, yet they do NOT play a supportive role in your life, you do not have to consider them part of your network. This doesn’t mean that you have to end the relationship it simply means you have to adjust your own expectations of their capabilities. If your network includes people that make subtle verbal jabs, are insincere when applauding you or are not happy when you succeed, you know what is missing from your support network? SUPPORT! If you continue choosing to nurture relationships that drain your vitality and optimism, you will continue feeling alone in your efforts to make the changes you seek.
If you are looking for people to add to your support group, look for a community that will support you in making your resolutions stick, seek out a mentor who has successfully made the transition, and/or hire a coach to support you throughout your journey. Remember to look for the common attribute that the people in your support network must share: Positivity.
Do you have a support network? Is anything missing in your network? I would love to know what successes or challenges you’ve had in creating a supportive environment for yourself, please make a comment below and share your experience. Let me know if you need any assistance, I want to help you keep your resolutions this year.
A big issue in my previous attempts in creating lasting teams and support groups is what I would call cohesion. In theory, everyone is on board, but I find that once we get started, even with a support group dedicated to one person, schedules and small disagreements can derail a group. I think the heart of it is that a lot of people with demanding schedules and life missions( ie. I’ll go back to school while working and having a family, etc) have really deep prioritizing and stress management needs. Those are the two factors I have seen affect a support group.
Stephen, One salient idea that I may not have stressed enough is that a support group can be a group of people that don’t necessarily work together on helping you achieve your goals. They don’t even need to be connected to each other. For the person who seeks change, creating relationships with people who can provide different kinds of support throughout the journey toward change is ideal. An example would be the friend who always tells you the truth even when you may not want to hear it or the trainer who kicks your butt during a workout or the family member who loves you unconditionally and has unwavering faith in your abilities. The people that are a part of your network are not working in concert, but they are a part of your network and you are the center of it. Does that explain it a bit better? Thanks so much for your comment!
Great Blogs Janine! Support is so necessary and reevaluating the systems is necessary. Keep this info coming!
Thanks so much for checking them out, Marcia.
I think it is critical to have a support group of people who support your efforts in business and in life. These people don’t have to be connected to one another but they do have to be loyal to your vision and dream and offer you a safe place to land when things get hectic.
Lori, you are so right! Thanks for sharing the importance of safe havens.
Hi Janine! I am very fortunate to have a wonderful support group of spiritual entrepreneurs. They are nothing but love and light and I am so thankful. Two years previous when I met my coach, I was very troubled about NOT having supportive friends and her advice to me was to keep doing what I was doing which was staying positive…she said they negative people would “fall off.” She was absolutely right. I made a stand and for those that weren’t meant to be there, they fell off. Great reminder. Thanks Janine! Janet
Thanks for sharing your experience, Janet!
Man, do I hear ya, sistah! And one more thing. Those who’ve supported you in the past, those you’ve come to rely upon for encouragement, they can, at a certain point, no longer be a good fit for you. Or their lives can change in such a way that they can no longer be there for you in the way they used to.
But it’s okay! Keep the faith that your perfect support buddies are on the way!
Good point, Nancy! Thanks for sharing it!
I love it, Janine. I call those non-supportive people “energy sucks”, because they drain the life right outta ya. And I’m with Nancy – so many times I’ve had people become not so supportive, especially when I took a huge risk and started a business. Sometimes when those people walk away, amazing new ones take their place! Thanks!
Thanks for such a great comment, Emily!